I Am Ozzy by Ozzy Osbourne

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Title: I Am Ozzy

Author:

Theyve said some crazy things about me over the years. I mean, okay: He bit the head off a bat. Yes. He bit the head off a dove. Yes. But then you hear things like, Ozzy went to the show last night, but he wouldnt perform until hed killed fifteen puppies . . . Now , kill fifteen puppies? I love puppies. Ive got eighteen of the f**king things at home. Ive killed a few cows in my time, mind you. And the chickens. I shot the chickens in my house that night. It haunts me, all this crazy stuff. Every day of my life has been an event. I took lethal combinations of booze and drugs for thirty f**king years. I survived a direct hit by a plane, suicidal overdoses, STDs. Ive been accused of attempted murder. Then I almost died while riding over a bump on a quad bike at f**king two miles per hour. People ask me how come Im still alive, and I dont know what to say. When I was growing up, if youd have put me up against a wall with the other kids from my street and asked me which one of us was gonna